Ravana Goes To Silicon Valley: Chapter 6
When Chandru woke up he was still in the hut. The nymph was there, now wearing a minimal bikini, white with a floral pattern.
“Do you like this? Cute, isn’t it? It’s Dolce and Gabbana, I bought it in Singapore. It cost an arm and a leg, but fortunately I had just killed a demon with ten arms and ten legs so that worked out really well.”
Chandru chose not to say anything.
“Now that your mind is a bit clearer let’s talk about what’s going to happen. As you know, the lake is melting and Ravana’s generals are about to emerge. Once they regain their power they will attempt to resurrect their master, Ravana. And they will succeed.”
“How do you know?”
“How do you know? How do you know?” the apsara mimicked. “Which part of celestial nymph is so difficult to understand? Do you think I’m just some bimbo who looks good in a Dolce and Gabbana bikini? We apsaras are eternal, we emerged when the devas and asuras churned the milk ocean all those millennia ago. We fraternize with the gods and the great sages. We can recite the Vedas and the Puranas. We read things, we hear things and we know things. Just because we’re hot doesn’t mean we’re stupid. You don’t think I picked up a thing or two over the years?”
“I apologize again. I just can’t seem to say anything without offending you.”
“Where were we? Oh yes, Ravana. Power is his nourishment. So in order to resurrect Ravana the rakshasas will have to find a source of great power. A big chunk of this world’s power resides in Silicone Valley, so naturally that’s where Ravana will be resurrected. Are you with me so far?”
Chandru nodded, afraid of making her angry again.
“Only a warrior descended from Lord Rama himself can stop Ravana. You are a Lohana, your blood line started with Luv, Lord Rama’s son with Sita, so that’s where you come in. That’s why the gods didn’t want you to die on the ice.”
“But I’m not a warrior, I build roads. And I’m not in Silicon Valley.”
“But the child sprung from your loins is!” the apsara exclaimed triumphantly.
“Jethmal?” Chandru was shocked. It was true that his son was working in Silicon Valley, but if anybody was less of a warrior than Chandru it would be Jethmal.
“Precisely!” the apsara said, clearly enthusiastic to the point where Chandru didn’t dare protest. “Now, this is what’s going to happen next. While you sleep Amrita will take you back to the Land Cruiser. In the morning the owner of the car rental will send some men to find the truck. They’re not looking for you, they’re just worried about the Land Cruiser.”
“Good to know.”
“Even so, they can’t just leave you there, so they will take you to a hospital in Shimla. They will also take the cash from your wallet and the pretty gold ring you’re wearing.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you get it back later. Anyway, in Shimla the doctors will amputate the leg the rakshasa touched. Snip, snip, right above the knee.”
“What!?!”
“You won’t get it back, but look at it from the bright side. You won’t have to go back to that stupid lake again.”
“Gee, thanks. But how will this stop Ravana from coming back.”
“That’s the final part of your quest. When you’re safely back in your flat in Mumbai you will call your son and warn him that Ravana is on his way. That’s it. You’re done, and Jethmal will know what to do. Questions?”
Even though Chandru was skeptical about the apsara’s plan, he thought it best to keep quiet.
“Good. Now I’m going to give you some more codeine and when you wake up you’ll be on the ground beside the truck.”
“About that,” Chandru said, remembering the cow dumping him rudely on the frozen ground. “I don’t think Amrita likes me.”
“She’s just angry because she lost the bet. She’s probably over it by now.”
“A bet? You bet on whether I would survive?” Chandru exclaimed.
“Relax pal. It wasn’t like that at all. I bet her fifty grand that as modern as you are you would still make an offering to a Naga, a snake spirit. Remember the little girl with the sheep? Well, I know this Naga who owed me a favor, and he assumed the shape of...”
“Say no more. I gave the girl five hundred rupees. No wonder Amrita is upset. Anything else I should know?”
The nymph was silent, as if deliberating.
“Well, there’s one more thing,” she finally said, looking sheepish. “Tonight I will visit you in a dream, and we will have… a union, and conceive offspring...”
“What!?!?!”
“Come on, you said you thought I was hot. As old as I am there’s no botox, no silicone and no tummy tucks. I’m gonna rock your world until sunrise, Chandru.”
“That’s not the point. I just met you, we can’t just have a child willy nilly. I don’t even know your name.”
“It’s sort of a tradition. Pretty much whenever we apsaras go on a mission we get knocked up and end up giving birth to some creature.”
“What????”
“You say ‘what’ a lot, you know that? Don’t worry I won’t hit you up for child support, it’s considered bad form in our circles. But sometimes I wish the fathers would take more interest in raising their offspring. I’m guessing you never had to take a fire-belching serpent to its first day in kindergarten. Or explain to your demon child that it’s not OK to eat somebody on the first date. It would be nice with some emotional support, you know. But I don’t expect you to be any different than the rest. Drink your tea and go to sleep, and get ready for the ride of your lifetime. Oh, and by the way, my name is Tillotama.”
“Nice to meet you. I guess.”